i struggle to stay true to myself sometimes. which part do i stay true to?
i see all the things of the world; money, clothes, appearance, big houses, fame, success, attention, and recognition…it’s not that i don’t want that, i do, i really do it just doesn’t really matter. the earthy side of me wants all this but the spiritual side of me can’t stand it. none of that makes my worth more or less. that second side of me is all intuition, depths, prayers, knowledge, inner peace, and enlightenment. that’s what i’m chasing now and i feel that even though i want both sides of me to be happy there can only be one path to follow. i think i chose the right one and i’m happy with my decision but sometimes i have to remind myself that the grass isn’t always greener. money isn’t everything. appearance isn’t who i am.
in astrology the myth of capricorn is that the seagoat was half fish because the fish tail (aka mermaid tail) was the hidden depths and spiritual side that no one really sees and that the upper goat half represented the earth and physical plane i.e. material things. that’s why i have a mermaid tattooed on me because it couldn’t be more true of my astrological sign and me. i relate to this idea very much so and it’s very hard to throw away the parts of yourself you have become comfortable with in order to change and grow. i try every day though. and now i’ll just dive back down to the depths and maybe find Atlantis.
